I think every self-respecting girl should take up paintball. You can deal proper vengeance to your enemy, someone who has wronged you, or anyone who looks at you funny in a manner that is both socially acceptable and awesome. How many times I’ve wanted to shoot someone without killing them or inflicting substantial damage upon them, I can’t even count. With paintball, they’re left with some bruises for a few days, i.e painful reminders that this self-respecting girl is not to be fucked with. I write like I’m good at paintball, but honestly, I just shoot and hope a living being intercepts the shot; I would consider shooting a squirrel as successful a target as any human opponent, if not more of a feat. And just like a guy who brews his own beer is exponentially more interesting, the same goes for a girl who partakes in the art of paintball warfare. I was also pleased to find out that this American subculture is full of gentlemen; girls are few and far between, and the guys let you cut in line, they give you extra paint, they open doors, and call you ‘darlin’ – it goes nicely with my old-fashioned tastes. Paintballers in general love teams and strategy, they don’t mind pain and even the young players take hits with an aged stoicism, they want to be the classic hero and the mustache-clad villain, they shoot like their life is on the line, they make bonds on the field in the midst of battle, they rejoice when they win, and become hopelessly depressed when they lose. There’s a lot of heart in this game, and I like that.