The Squeaky Robot

A Meddling Robot in a Human's World

Posts tagged “bucket list

Gratuitous Photo Dump//Nikon FM

Posted on May 4, 2012

After a month-long nerve-wracking misadventure with my Nikon FM, I finally see a finished product. Film photography is dying medium, but I’m still thrilled to use it. This camera has shaved years off my life just from sheer stress, but the feeling of seeing these photos materialized feels too good; the weight on my shoulders is alleviated, I breathe easier. I think I have a problem. Cherry Blossom Festival, 2012. Ten minutes before I took this, the painter said that someone stole one of his paintings that was leaning against a nearby tree. He was fuming, and the last thing he probably wanted was for someone to steal another one of his images with a camera. A photo of the paints will have to…

Bucket List Update: Scuba Squeaky

Posted on April 29, 2012

I’m officially certified for underwater exploration, as per my Bucket List for 2012. Weirdly, the deed was done in the middle of Pennsylvania cornfield country in an old abandoned rock quarry that is now a PADI diving site. It’s also home to bass, catfish, a cement truck, a chess board complete with pieces, and a quarry barn that is likely now enveloped in algae and slime. The water was freezing and murky, a good thing for a newly certified diver. Any other water would be markedly warmer and clearer in comparison, a psychological advantage only known to cold-water divers. I’d also like to report that the lake’s fauna have no concept of boundaries, as certain inquisitive fish would swim up to our masks and…

A Farewell Ode to PR

Posted on April 27, 2012

Every Thursday night until 10 pm, I’m in the belly of a dingy basement of a distant exclave university building. It truly is a dismal structure. The walls are a bland off-white and the fluorescent lights flicker ominously. Around the corner, I run into the night custodian, a mysterious man with an eye-patch whom I have developed an elaborate backstory for (let’s just say that a hostage situation with a Kyrgyzstani went horribly wrong). But alas, I’m not in this hellish academic islet by choice, at lease not by direct choice. I’m in a course called Issues and Image Management – basically public relations, not-so-basically how to fix the public image and perception of shitty people and shitty corporations who claim profit and revenue…

Najpyszniejsze Pierogi

Posted on February 20, 2012

2012 Bucket List Update: learn how to make pierogi I’ve taken pierogi for granted my whole life simply because they came so easily and abundantly. I would ask my grandma for some and a few days later, they would appear on the table in a greasy metal bowl, like out of thin air. Then I would indulge. But gone are the days of magic pierogi. My poor grandma’s hands have been stricken with arthritis, making it difficult, time-consuming, and painful to pinch the lips of each and every pierog. And I wouldn’t dare ask. You grow up and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around your pierogi needs. So I added it to my bucket list of 2012, to learn how to make pierogi…

Bucket List 2012 and My Intentions in the Year We Supposedly All Perish

Posted on January 15, 2012

There are some mysteries that will never be solved. One, for example, is how the search engine term ‘woman puts boyfriend in headlock with her thighs’ led two people on two separate occasions to this blog. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t meet a moment of arrest and briefly reconsider my choices in content. Another celebrated ┬ámystery is how Kim Kardashian ever became famous. As far as I can tell, she lacks any talent in its traditional sense but somehow commands the attention of millions just by looking hot, even though she can’t even do that right because she looks like a plastic extraterrestrial with a comically and disproportionately inflated ass. The last mystery mentioned will be how this stigma and inherent…