The Squeaky Robot

A Meddling Robot in a Human's World

Posts tagged “humor

Day on the Town

Posted on July 22, 2012

If this small photo set convinces you Holland is a lovely place, you’d be on to something. And because this blog deals with the more or less hazy nature of ‘home’ and whatever it means, let me just say this: the air smells . . .new. Untouched. As if I’m the very first person to breathe it. Emitted directly from a flower into my lungs. When the air doesn’t smell this way, it smells like horse shit or bonfires. Ah! Takes me back! Seriously – there is no better smell than that of wood burning outdoors. Amsterdam is beautiful but too touristy. More than that, these particular tourists are annoying as fuck because they go around asking unassuming shopkeepers where they can score some…

Squeaky Robot’s Guide to Packing Light

Posted on July 12, 2012

Rule #1: Forget everything on your list. I used to regard the whole business of packing dubiously. It would either seem too hard or too easy; either way, I would omit something crucial and then realize it at the exact moment of necessity. Like my passport at the check-in desk. Sunglasses on a blindingly sunny day somewhere near the Equator. Plug adapters upon arrival to my place of stay, usually just as my camera’s battery depletes. I cannot count the number of times I’ve said: “It seems I’ve forgotten my phone charger”, quickly followed by, “it seems I’ve forgotten my phone”.  The bright side? It makes for a substantially lighter backpack. Substantially. Rule #2: When in doubt, throw it out. Let’s get real. Do…

My New Home

Posted on April 4, 2012

Big news for The Squeaky Robot! I’ve just been given the green light to study in St. Petersburg, Florida Russia this fall! I’m so excited I sometimes forget to breathe. Literally breathe. Someone had to tell me my lips were blue. Anyway, this has many implications for me and this blog, some of which I will highlight below: 1) I will most definitely have repetitive and comically undignified run-ins with my greatest and most fearsome foe: old Russian women. Despite all the drunks, Russia’s backbone is brass-bound simply because these women prop it up with a collective force that could rival that of Iran’s entire nuclear artillery, and also their canes. They really don’t take shit from anybody; the problem arises when you see what they…

DC, Explained: Part One

Posted on February 5, 2012

DC is a strange composite of culture and the global and economic diversity that naturally accompanies city life. Here’s a little bit about the District where all the stupid politics go down: The Capitol Building serves as the epicenter of the four quadrants of DC, no doubt an homage to justice, liberty, and the American way.  Another symbolic oddity of this building: many people claim that, excluding the Washington Monument, the Capitol is the tallest building in the city. Usually following this statement is the misguided citation that there is a long venerated law that dictates no other architectural structure in the District of Colombia can be taller than the Capitol. There is actually no such law, and the Basilica of the National Shrine…

Important Realizations of December 15th, 2011

Posted on December 15, 2011

1) You can cut your Starbucks bill by 75% if you keep your cup. I am a sporadic coffee-drinker and Starbucks-attender so I didn’t know this until today, when I finished my last drop of black coffee and then looked down into my empty cup and pouted. Upon seeing this, a barista informed me I could get a refill for a mere 55 cents. What a world! Why is Starbucks charging $1.60 for a paper cup?? Oh, that’s right. It’s a business. 2) There is a soup kitchen exactly one block away from my home. I got up at the butt-crack of dawn to attend a volunteer orientation, and I’ll be officially reconvening my random bouts of community service in January. The manager working…